How Far Would You Go To Shape The Future Of Your Children?
A recent fad among the rich and famous in Hong Kong is to use a Caesarian Section to deliver a child in a private hospital based on the date and time specified by an astrologer. The theory is that if the fortune, experiences, and expected life span of a person can be determined by the date and time of birth, one should be able to select the perfect life for any individual by simply manipulating the moment of birth.
Before any prospective parents get excited about this option, I would like to point out that such a practice can only happen under special circumstances. In Canada, we have a universal national health care system that is funded by both government and individuals insurance premiums. Every attempt is made for expectant mothers to deliver naturally. A doctor will only use a Caesarian Section if it is necessary to protect the health of the mother and child. A doctor risks being disciplined if Caesarian Sections are used for non-medical reasons.
Apart from the ethical aspect of such practices, the majority of the astrologers (myself included) actually do not encourage the use of astrological knowledge for such purposes. It is considered risky and unwise to play god.
My own reason for frowning on such a practice is simple: I do not want to be personally responsible for the ups and downs of my children. It is too much of a burden for me. Perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. I may value fame and fortune, while another considers friendship and family to be the most important things in life.
Can you imagine your children blaming you for every failure, misfortune, and problem that they encounter in life? If you had relied upon an astrologer to select the date and time of birth of your children, you might pester that poor soul for having misguided you. If I had done the selection myself, how do I get myself out of this eternal guilt trip?
Selecting their career at birth and grooming them for it
Since no one is immortal, our children are our replacement. It is not surprising that a lot of parents make grand plans for their children from the moment of birth. Since most people have to work to earn a living, the career we choose (by choice) or end up with (by default) sets the course for the remainder of our journey through life.
Every time I hear parents talk about the education fund they have set up either privately in a bank account or formally with an financial institution for their children to go to university or college, I listen attentively. Some of these grand plans bring great stresses to their beneficiaries.
I know of a fellow who was the only son in the family. His father has the view that you are a nobody unless you are a medical doctor. His mother pressured him to pursue science subjects in university to leave his options open. The reality was that he hated “thinking” and had no academic aptitude. He would be better off learning a trade and pursuing a blue collar career instead of an office job. He failed first year and took six years to complete an arts degree. He never learned a skill or a trade. At thirty plus in age, he is still pondering what he should do with his life.
In Chinese astrology, there are two stars that deal with scholarly and artistic abilities. One deals with main stream scholarly type of academic achievement. The other one deals with fine art (drawing, painting, playing musical instruments, making pottery, etc.) and sports. These two stars must reside in the four main houses (life potential, mobility, career and wealth) in order for the individual to do well in these fields. These abilities are more prominent if the two stars reside in the life potential and/or career house. A “bookworm” is likely a person with just the scholar star in one of the main four houses.
While I applaud the effort of parents who plan ahead for their children, I have also seen a lot of mismatch between parental expectations and the aptitude of their children that leads to very unhappy lives. My view is that it takes more than genetics, good intentions, financial resources, endless pressure and nagging from parents to make a brain surgeon or concert pianist. You also need talent, and talent is unique to each individual who is either born with it or without it. I also believe that everyone is gifted in his or her own way. The trick is to find out what that special gift is, and develop it to its full potential.
© 1998, Debbie Yeung