Astrology and Horoscopes

The WORST Sex For Your Zodiac Sign

What’s The WORST Sex For Your Zodiac Sign?

Oooh, I love how deliciously candid you readers are! You might say I gathered these bad sex confessions from the cosmic bathroom wall … and in these cases, ‘bad’ does not mean ‘good!’

There were hair issues. I brought K-Y jelly, but what I needed was a weed whacker. — Aries

He made this weird moaning sound when he kissed. It was so whiny. It just grossed me out. — Taurus

He had all these toys in the nightstand, which I guess were supposed to compensate for something. I would have at least liked the chance to experience that ‘something’ and decide for myself before the onslaught of plastic. — Gemini

He was so big I almost had a panic attack just looking at it. I was like, where am I going to put it? — Cancer

I couldn’t get into it in that position. I just kept thinking about what my stomach looked like all bunched up. The whole time I was trying to distract him from looking down. If I’d had puppets, I would’ve put on a show. — Leo

I just wish I had said, ‘Wait, let me shower first …’ — Virgo

I had certain regrets about my dinner choice. I should have done without the rice and beans. — Libra

I felt smothered. If I were a wolf, I would have gnawed off his heavy-ass arm across my body and broken free into the night. — Scorpio

I had too much to drink. I got the spins doing the spinner-girl on top of him, then I threw up. — Sagittarius

It was so clinical. I was thinking, ‘Are we making out or is this my annual pap smear?’ — Capricorn

When I woke up in the morning there was money on the night stand and he was gone. Probably a misunderstanding stemming from my wardrobe choice of the prior evening. I guess there’s a fine line between ‘slutty’ and ‘professional.’ — Aquarius

She was scary with the nails on the back. Trying way too hard. I didn’t have the heart to tell her, that just hurts! — Pisces

Last updated on July 13, 2017 at 2:44 pm. Word Count: 359